A gift

Once I met a wizard. He had the great power to heal people. Not the wounds of the flesh, but wounds of the soul. He had the power to show to others the Way. He was a wise man too and he seemed to know always what was going on, what was the right thing to say and to do. I guess he was a seer too.

He was old when we met, and was giving all his gifts away. Feeling the end close, he didn't want to waste them. I wasn't a wizard, just a kid at that time, but he trusted me and blessed me. And since then I was able the ease the pain of a lot of people, to show them their own way without knowing it myself. I still remember the first time that happened, the joy for the enlightenment that sudenly fall on that girl. But it lasted just a moment, then it was just pain.

With a great power come great responsabilites, great gifts are never completely for free. And so it was. I was too weak and inexperienced to control my gift, so it was the one controlling me, tearing apart peaces of my hart every time. Every time someone found the Path, I found myself a bit further from it. And one day I was lost, and with the Way I lost the gift too.

It took a lot of effort to find the way back home, but eventually I managed. Meanwhile I embraced the Order and at the beginning it helped to ease my pain. And then my gift was back, but different, weaker. And now I can still feel the other's pain stronger as if it was mine, but I fail most of the time to ease it, to do the right thing, to show the right path. It's nothing I can control yet, it just happens when I don't expect it, when I don't want it.

With the time I learned that the first step is always knowlege and compassion, then love will arrive. And then, sometimes I really want it to happen, but my will is useless, I can't do anything but powerless watch the other's suffering. And this is killing me again, feel the pain without the reward to see the healing

duty call. My shoulder has still problems. Probably it just need time to heal. Anyway the healer was right, it's a bad scar. It seems that, finally, the new medicine is working. So I can leave

I don't like to move now, but the Order call, duty call. And I must go.

I met an other member, from an othe branch. Different duties, different attitude... I was strange to work together. The hard part is to explain that I can't stay, I can't choose where to go. I must just take what will come, that's the Path I chose

It's nice, time to time, do see someone of the order. Well, I know there are not so many of us around, but still I always hope to meet someone. And this time I met two of them, they travel together. Usual talk, how we jumped in, how is life, the comunity, the rules... It was nice after so many years alone, because talking with a knight not in the order is nice, but is not the same...

They are going to stay for a while, as long as I recover completely