... and never wake up again

It begins very small,
Seems like nothing much at all.
Just a germ, just a speck, just a grain.
But the seed has been sewn,
And before you know it's grown,
It has spread through your life like a stain.
And its power will strangle your love and your joy.
And its hunger consumes-- for it lives to destroy!

I was just a boy when I first catch it. They call it the "dark desease" and I've never understood if it's more dark for the ill people or for the people who love them. In the acute crisis I could see nothing than darkenss. I couldn't see the light outside, I couldn't see the bright side of the life. The only thing I wanted was falling asleep and never wake up again.

They say that you can get better, but you can never recover completely. And sometimes, when I'm tired, I feel it growing in me again, taking away my will, letting me with only pain and sorrow.

I see it now, in the light dusk fog, in the silence of a room, in the motion of a river, in the falling of a leaf, in my daily meals and in my most enjoyable job. It is calling me as always. To sleep and never wake up again.

They say I was lucky, it was just at the beginning when they recognize the symptoms. Then they realized that was not correct, the thrut is that it was just a light form. So I'm not so lucky anymore, they manage to cure better the strongest forms. I survived, but I live like an hunted animals, in every second I feel its grip on me. Is this really life?

To sleep and never wake up again... maybe today I will surrend, too tired to fight again